well, my unbelievable music career never ceases to provide entertainment.  this one band i play with is so loud that it is physically painful to be present. i mean it literally hurts your ears due to the volume and poor harmony, but somehow all the pain goes away when i am turned up louder than everybody else- for me that is.  However i was unable to get that self satisfaction that comes with being the loudest tonight….why????…………………… because they put a mic on the cowbell! my head still hurts.  CAn i play music with earplugs? does that even make sense?  music is supposed to be good to listen to? right? i either need to swill down six beers or buy ear plugs- i cant quit cuz their great guys and actually play gigs- unlike other musicians i know who are totally dynamic and sensitive but never leave the rehersal hall- what a quandry.  this is waht i worry about at 1:50 am sunday morning.  How bout you?  A musical plus is that lorenzo the bass player has agreed to play on “songs in the key of kluck”.  this is good news

so i made it this far but i finally publically snapped.  Innocent lady at work ask me about the holidays , and instead of releasing the status quo “great or fine” which always places an instant glaze on the face of the inquisitor followed by the highlights of their meaningful experience, I went with the “ITS ALL FAKE!” response.  She said “It’s not all fake…” but before she finished i went off on the bogus date of jesus’ birthday, corporate this and corporate that and finished with the santa is satan.  she wanted to pray with me- but i just walked away and gave her the eye drops i borrowed from her a few days ago.  i was rude.  She called me a pessismist and negative.  I said that is the whole problem you call the truth negative!   Now i’m gonna have to apologize, cuz i was rude,  even though the holidays are complete bullshit.  ya know if it weren’t for me…. me might be ok